#352: NERVE

2016

Directed by Ariel Schulman & Henry Joost

Sci-Fi, Thriller.

Oh boy, now here is a film that had a promising concept and trailer. Nerve is basically a smartphone game similar to Pokemon Go, where you have to go out and socialise and do dares in public, filmed from your phone's camera for money, whilst people watch you online. The dares get more crazy and difficult as your progress through the game to the point where they are illegal. So yeah the concept of the film seems inspired by Pokemon Go and Impractical Jokers, only not as cute or as funny. In fact with it being set in Staten Island, I was half expecting the jokers themselves to make a cameo!

Emma Roberts and Dave Franco lead the film and are the two main daredevils. Whilst Franco is well experienced in the game already, Emma Roberts' character Venus goes from being a shy bookworm type, to a pro daredevil in the space of like one day! The whole film is completely implausible because you have to suspend your disbelief that every character in the film has a super hi quality internet connection that allows for seamless HD camera phone footage with the directing prowess of Stanley Kubrick. Every character in the film seems to have a high quality internet connection and knows how to do hacking skills. The more you watch, the more it feels like someone is smashing your brain in with a hammer. 

The film also tries to be so incredibly hip that it becomes annoying. There is a really grating Pop/RnB soundtrack that will sound dated in a few years time, truly one of the worst film soundtracks I've ever heard. Also there is SO MUCH PRODUCT PLACEMENT. It gets ridiculous, it's like every single big corporation wanted to get their logo in this film, it's really distracting.

Nerve is also devoid of any decent character development, and even the most insane dares in the film never really seem that gripping or tense. I didn't care about any of the characters and this film just annoyed the shit out of me. The film was made by the same directors as Paranormal Activity 3 and 4, and the Catfish film and TV series. Now as a positive I will say this was a more ambitious film and it looks quite good visually. Nerve never really becomes boring, it has entertainment value, but the script and plot of the film is true "leave your brain at the door" material. 5/10.

#318: GONE BABY GONE

2007
Directed by Ben Affleck

Mystery, Thriller

Ben Affleck had a rather patchy time from the late 90s to mid 2000s, where it seemed he was the target of bloodthirsty critics, and to be fair he had a string of bad roles and flop films, including Gigli, Pearl Harbour and Daredevil. Affleck actually began his film career on a high, with his screenwriting credit for Good Will Hunting earning him an Oscar. Perhaps it was this string of critical bashings that urged Ben Affleck to get back behind the camera. Gone Baby Gone is his directorial debut, as well as seeing Affleck write the screenplay, adapted from the novel by Dennis Lehane. Also for the record, I've always been a fan of Ben Affleck!

Gone Baby Gone is a ruthless Mystery Thriller. Ben doesn't appear on screen, but casted his excellent younger brother Casey Affleck in the leading role, alongside Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Freeman and two knockout performances from Ed Harris and Amy Ryan. A 6 year old girl goes missing and our two leading amateur detectives are asked to find her by the family who live in the same neighbourhood. Like any great detective movie, it leads the characters (and thus the viewer) down a rabbit hole of seedy characters, drugs, crime, murder, villains and police corruption. Ben Affleck films in a raw, grainy style, taking inspiration from hit HBO show The Wire (of which two of its regular cast appear). For the most part it looks and works very well. There are few instances where I thought the violence and the tough guy attitude of Casey Affleck's characters got a bit much. And whilst the mystery is very enjoyable and well written, I didn't feel like I was watching anything especially original. Gone Baby Gone definitely takes its cues from David Fincher's Se7en. But for Ben Affleck, he not only rediscovered his talents, but got the critics back on his side too. 7/10.

#3.14: π

1998
Directed by Darren Aronofsky
Psychological Thriller, Surrealism

π is the debut feature film by New Yorker Darren Aronofsky, who went on to make such classics as Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler and Black Swan. Aronofsky made this film on a super low budget, helped by friends and family who invested in his ideas. The film is shot in ultra high contrast black and white, and Aronofsky didn't even have any filming permits, having to shoot scenes on the sly. π Isn't exacly a pleasant film to look at, with lots of noise and grain in the picture, but if you are a fan of super low budget films like Clerks then you will know what you are in for. Although the film looks like a college film project, Aronofsky still manages to add an interesting visual style throughout, composing some eerie shots. The film establishes a great technological look full of computer screens, and even the small moments, like the way protagonist Max Cohen locks his door, are stylishly edited. There is an incredible scene in a New York subway that has a very eerie tone, almost jumping into pure Horror territory, reminding me of Jacob's Ladder, that has ambitious visuals considering the films restrictions.

π is one of the most unique films I have ever seen. The premise is about a mathematical genius who suffers from severe headaches and anxiety, being driven mad by mathematical formulas in his head. The film captures a superb paranoid edge throughout. Max Cohen is never quite sure whether the people he meets are his friends or his enemies, and remains isolated and cautious. Thus, the viewer shares his paranoia and the film makes you feel on edge. Aronofsky achieves this further with the use of surreal sequences where you aren't quite sure whether they are for real or just nightmares in the protagonists head. The film is edited so that the chronology of the story jumps quite rapidly from scene to scene, giving you a feeling of nausea and unease. It is difficult to tell whether the whole film takes place in one day, one week, one month or even a year. Another great aspect of π is the use of IDM/Electronic music in the soundtrack, along with Clint Mansell's eerie Dark Ambient score. The use of music by Aphex Twin, Autechre, The Orbital and Massive Attack perfectly suits the feel of the film, enhancing the mathematical and technological feel.

π is a fast paced film that manages to be gripping without having any major conflicts between characters. Any conflict seen in the film comes more from within Max Cohen's head than with anyone else. Not only is this one of the most leftfield and unique premises to any film I have seen, but the idea of viewing a film through the eyes of a character who is completely broken down mentally is something that makes it such a bold experience. This makes Max Cohen not an antagonist, but an anti-protagonist if you catch my drift! Considering I am a person who really struggles when it comes to numbers and mathematics, I found this film completely enthralling and would definitely watch it again one day! 8/10.

#303: BIRDEMIC: SHOCK & TERROR

2008

Directed by James Nguyen

Natural Horror, Thriller.

If you know me well or you have followed my reviews for a while, you'll know that I have a sick obsession when it comes to films that are so bad they are good, or "goofs" as I like to call them. I count cult classics such as The Room, Troll 2 and Undefeatable as some of the most entertaining films out there! Films that I can watch over and over again and appreciate more than the latest Oscar winner!

Having seen a few clips on YouTube and read about Birdemic: Shock & Terror, I knew that this film would be right up my street. Birdemic just received a UK Blu-Ray release and is actually being sold in shops, which is wonderful and frightening in equal measures! But I couldn't resist, and it is jam packed with special features too!

In case you don't know about Birdemic, it is considered to be one of the worst films ever made. It looks like a student made this film to submit for a college course, and even then I doubt they would have landed a passing grade! The film is basically a rip off of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds and sees a bunch of rogue birds attack people at a seaside US town for almost no explainable reason! But the film is most famous for it's extremely low quality. It looks like it could easily have been filmed on a cheap handheld camera or even an I-Phone, and the editing is incredibly basic, and could have easily been done in under a week on Windows Movie Maker. The acting is lower than Porno levels, and somehow the lead actor happens to be the worst of the lot, expressing absolutely no emotion or concern even during the most "tense" scenes. At least the leading lady is somewhat competent, but not enough to make a career out of acting. The editing is beyond terrible, the sound mixing is all over the place, with some scenes being battered by the sound of the wind, making the dialogue near inaudible. Scenes cut to the next one without any rhyme of rhythm and the infamous "special effects" look like 2 second looped gifs of birds have been copy and pasted onto the screen! Whenever you hear the heroes of the film shooting their guns at the birds, cheap stock sound effects are used and the toy prop guns don't even look real or like they are actually firing anything. The entire soundtrack is cheap and sounds like it has been picked from a stock library. Despite being made in 2008, Hitchcock's The Birds, that was made in 1963, looks far more accomplished in every technical aspect.

The actual plot of the film is very, very lopsided. The first half is very slow and uninteresting. We see our forgettable leading man go to work and succeed in a big sales pitch, and go on a date with the leading lady, winning her charms despite his inability to express an emotion or say anything interesting or charming. I guess the script says they like each other, so the audience just has to go with it! The film is padded out with inane scenes of the leading man playing basketball with his friend, and the leading lady securing a modelling contract. The only chuckles to be had during the first half of the film are the first few times you see the terrible acting and the abrupt editing, but even this soon becomes a bore. There is a pretty comical scene where they go on a date at a bar, and a singer is badly lip syncing to a cheesy R&B song. The scene goes on for like 5 minutes and goes nowhere!

About half way through, the film makes an incredible shift in tone completely out of nowhere. All of sudden the screen is filled with poorly animated birds, whose shits are capable of blowing up buildings below. The characters humourously try to fend off the birds with coathangers. The film does start to become more entertaining, funny and silly during the last half, but it is such a slog making it upto this point. Even though Tommy Wiseau's immortal cult classic The Room is nearly as bad in quality, and is also full of go nowhere scenes, that film has a hypnotic atmosphere to it that makes it captivating for the entire length. Mainly because of Tommy Wiseau's enigmatic screen presence. Birdemic doesn't have that quality though, it is just BAD. And really boring. The laughs are very few and far between. One of the few saving graces of the film is that it comically crams in as many pro-environmental messages as it possible can, and not subtly. We see background posters and even characters wearing shirts advertising Yoko Ono's "Imagine Peace" website. The reason for the birds attacking is blamed on global warming, with a random scene where a "scientist" talks on and on about the dangers of global warming. At least the director has some sort of moral code, but if only he had found a better way to make his points!

I kind of feel bad that this film had a cinema release and even a Blu-Ray release, because it offers everything that is terrible and amateurish in film making, but fails to be remotely entertaining and interesting for most of its duration. It's not a so bad it's funny kind of film, it's just bad and painfully dull. If you watch a 3 minute clip of the film on YouTube, then that is enough, don't fool yourself into thinking the full film must be full of comedy gold like I did, because it isn't! I've seen non-film makers post up YouTube videos that had a better sense of editing and basic film making than this film has. I can honestly say I have made videos of better quality than Birdemic, and I do not consider myself a film maker! The whole film seems like a cruel joke, and the Blu-Ray release just extends that bad taste even further! Avoid this one and watch The Room or Troll 2 instead! 1/10.