#349: THE VVITCH

2015

Directed by Robert Eggers

Supernatural Horror, Psychological Horror

The VVitch has taken the Horror community by storm and for good reason. I've not bought a Blu-Ray on the day of release for a while now, but after hearing all the glowing reviews, I was excited to see it. Well after one viewing I was completely impressed, I could have easily watched it again right away if I had time. This is my kind of Horror film because it thinks outside the box. If I was to compare it to the recent The Conjuring films (which I also really liked), both have supernatural elements, are set in periods from the past yet their impact hit me in completely different ways. The Conjuring relies more on jump scares and periods of silence that suddenly explode into loud frightening moments that catch you off guard. The Conjuring films have some unbearably tense moments where I felt like I couldn't look at the screen. The VVitch was different though, I never was so scared that I had to look away, and it doesn't really push the jump scares so much. What it does really well is just builds up a very creepy atmosphere.

In a rare move for a Horror film, The VVitch gives away its antagonist almost immediately (well, within the first 10 minutes) which took me by shock, as films in the supernatural genre tend to like to build up the suspense and make the big reveal at the end of the film. I thought it was a bold move after seeing that scene, I was completely hooked. The pacing of the film is excellent and there are practically no wasted moments in the film. The expanse of the surrounding forest is used to beautiful effect, and throughout the film it feels like something is lurking and watching in the trees in the background. The film has a low key but effective plot that keeps you guessing right 'til the end. In particular I loved the creepy, vocal soundtrack that sounded like witches chanting in a ritual. Also this has to be the finest performance from a goat in a film since Island of Death! The whole film is like seeing your favourite Black Metal albums come to life! The VVitch is a supremely enjoyable Horror flick, and whilst it doesn't do anything particularly new, it will manage to creep you out effortlessly, in a similar way to The Babadook before it, or perhaps creepy classics like The Wicker Man or Don't Look Now. 8/10. 

#348: THE NEON DEMON

2016

Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Psychological Horror, Body Horror, Surrealism.

The Neon Demon is the latest film from director Nicolas Winding Refn, most famous for his runaway hit film Drive that starred Ryan Gosling. If you saw his follow up film Only God Forgives, you'll know the director took a left turn into extreme violence and experimentalism, which ended up really polarizing fans of Drive. It's safe to say that if you didn't like Only God Forgives, and are wanting to see a more story driven film like Drive again, you'll probably be best off avoiding this one!

That said, if you happened to like Only God Forgives, there is a lot to like here. From the brilliant 80s looking opening credit crawl, The Neon Demon moves at a slow, dreamlike pace and keeps you guessing where the movie is heading for the most part. 16 year old Elle Fanning stars as a model who has only just arrived to L.A. and is admired and hired by all the most esteemed photographers and modelling agencies, leaving more experienced, hard working models left in the dust. The film's dialogue is purposely a little wooden, building up a feeling that you are in this plastic Barbie Doll world. As the film goes on, the innocent Elle Fanning finds herself under threat from a sinister motel owner (in a very good supporting role from Keanu Reeves) and her jealous model peers who will go to any lengths to see her out of the modelling industry.

If you are used to Nicolas Winding Refn's previous films, you'll know that his visuals and music takes the centre stage instead of the script and plot. Refn likes to use dialogue sparingly, although there is suitably more here than his previous film Only God Forgives which seemed to lack a script entirely! Visually the film nods towards the colour tinted lenses of Michael Mann, the slow, dark and dreamy feel of David Lynch and the colour coded scenes of Dario Argento's Suspiria. The film itself is even more beautiful to look at than the largely female cast of models. The Neon Demon boasts one of the best film scores I've heard, probably since Drive. Cliff Martinez returns with a pounding Industrial/Electronic score that made me want to get out of my cinema chair and start raving! Hearing this score played loudly in the cinema kept me interested even during points where there wasn't a lot going on in the plot.

The first hour or so is relatively easy going, with a few tense moments hinting at possible horrors that might potentially unfold. For the uninitiated, it may take a while to get into the films slow pacing, and it is a film that requires some patience. Fortunately, the film is driven by a wonderful and mysterious atmosphere that I found kept me engrossed throughout. After the first hour or so comes the true biting point of the film. The last half hour descends into something reminiscent of an 80s David Cronenberg film, and the most violent parts of Drive and Only God Forgives start to turn up. The film isn't particular violent in the way of physical violence, but turns into a gross out Body Horror film that will either have the audience walking out feeling sick, or enjoying the film even more if you are into extreme cinema! The guys behind me in the cinema couldn't resist shouting "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" during a rather repulsive scene that nods towards Nekromantik. A couple even ended up walking out before the film had finished! The last third of the film is genuinely mental and oppressive, and easily the biggest talking point of the film.

Nicolas Winding Refn doesn't seem interested in making a commercial hit film like Drive again. He is the kind of director who has the ability to wow his audience with one hand, and then genuinely repulse them with the other. As a whole I think this was a better all around film than Only God Forgives, which went to too absurd and violent heights. If you are willing to stick with The Neon Demon, there are some truly wonderous moments to be found, particularly in how immersive the visuals and score are. It felt like it could have easily been a giant music video rather than a film. Just don't go into the film expecting another Drive! 8/10.

#343: THE CONJURING 2

2016

Directed by James Wan

Supernatural Horror, Psychological Horror.

Strap yourself in for another ride of intense jump scares, creepy atmospheres and scary entities! James Wan is back to direct the sequel to the hit film that is probably my favourite Horror movie of the decade thus far. The Conjuring 2 shifts the horror over to England and is set in 1977 (the second film released this month to be set in '77 after The Nice Guys) and is based on the real life Enfield Poltergeist case. This is one of the most famous haunted house cases in the UK, which has already been the subject of press coverage, documentaries and a TV mini series last year. The Conjuring aims to keep the majority of the real life events intact, but also adds more involvement of the real life Ed and Lorraine Warren (from the first film), the paranormal investigators who worked on the case.

The first thing that really impressed me about this American made film was that they got England right! Most times I see American's portraying English people, it is merely a series of horrible stereotypes, but the look and feel of England is spot on here, and there was nothing that annoyed me in that respect. Another of my pet peeves in cinema is annoying child actors, but the kids in this film weren't annoying also. Already we were off to a good start! In fact from the first minute of the film, I felt on edge, squirming in my cinema seat! James Wan doesn't do anything particularly new in terms of scare tactics, that you haven't seen in the first one or Insidious or many other ghostly Horror films. However he seems to just have a knack of doing suspenseful build ups and jump scares really well. He knows how to pick and choose his moments, backed up with very creepy art design and a suffocating dark ambient soundtrack with screeching violins. Wan also uses some really inventive camera techniques. The camera moves freely through all the rooms of the house and sometimes there are even POV shots that add to the tension. There were definitely more than a few moments in the film where I wished I had brought a pillow with me to hide behind! 

The Conjuring 2 very much does the whole sequel thing by just delivering more! Demons, poltergeists, possessed children, creepy old men and even a terrifying nun all crop up throughout. Running at 2 hours and 15 minutes, I think a couple of scenes could have easily been trimmed to advance the pacing, but in fairness there was rarely a dull moment as James Wan likes to test how many times someone can crap their pants in one sitting! Without giving anything away, perhaps the most scary and intense scene of the film involves merely a drink of water...! If you enjoyed the first film, there is plenty more to enjoy here, though aside from the UK setting, it isn't a drastic departure in style and execution over the first film (or perhaps Wan's Insidious series too). If you haven't seen the original, don't fear because this is an entirely different haunting case, so you can enjoy this film without feeling like you have missed lots of plot details from the first film. I say, if the film makers and cast can keep up the good quality, then I'll be happy to keep watching these films! 8/10.

#319: STARRY EYES

2014
Directed by Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer

Psychological Horror, Body Horror, Slasher

Now this was a real breath of fresh air! I don't keep up with modern Horror films as much as I would like to, but quite frequently when I do check out a new Horror film that is being hyped up, I often end up disappointed. Yes, even It Follows didn't hit the sweet spot for me! I was browsing the Horror menus of Netflix and after reading the premise of this film and seeing it had a high average rating, I decided to give it a go! THANK GOD!!! Starry Eyes hit all the sweet spots. The first discussion point, is that it is quite an original premise. A struggling actor working a crummy, demeaning job is so desperate for a role in a Horror film, but is she willing to do absolutely ANYTHING to land the role?

Starry Eyes starts off like a regular movie, but it isn't until leading lady Sarah goes on her audition that things start to seem a little odd and unsettling. Without giving too much away, this is a film that escalates in creepiness and gets more fucked up as it goes along. There are some surreal touches along the way that add to the creep factor, and the film never misses a beat. The performance of the leading actress Alex Essoe is fantastic throughout, giving a very physical performance. The cult like film producers are also excellent. Starry Eyes is quite a unique idea for a Horror film. The closest film I can compare it to is Black Swan, not only because it is about a woman pushing herself too far to land a role, but it has a lot of messed up Body Horror elements, and a similar duality of good an evil sides of one person. Starry Eyes is also a great satire of the Hollywood system. I really don't want to give too much away about this film, but it is very creepy and very intense the longer you get into it. If you want something fresh and exciting from modern Horror, this is it! 8/10.

#303: BIRDEMIC: SHOCK & TERROR

2008

Directed by James Nguyen

Natural Horror, Thriller.

If you know me well or you have followed my reviews for a while, you'll know that I have a sick obsession when it comes to films that are so bad they are good, or "goofs" as I like to call them. I count cult classics such as The Room, Troll 2 and Undefeatable as some of the most entertaining films out there! Films that I can watch over and over again and appreciate more than the latest Oscar winner!

Having seen a few clips on YouTube and read about Birdemic: Shock & Terror, I knew that this film would be right up my street. Birdemic just received a UK Blu-Ray release and is actually being sold in shops, which is wonderful and frightening in equal measures! But I couldn't resist, and it is jam packed with special features too!

In case you don't know about Birdemic, it is considered to be one of the worst films ever made. It looks like a student made this film to submit for a college course, and even then I doubt they would have landed a passing grade! The film is basically a rip off of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds and sees a bunch of rogue birds attack people at a seaside US town for almost no explainable reason! But the film is most famous for it's extremely low quality. It looks like it could easily have been filmed on a cheap handheld camera or even an I-Phone, and the editing is incredibly basic, and could have easily been done in under a week on Windows Movie Maker. The acting is lower than Porno levels, and somehow the lead actor happens to be the worst of the lot, expressing absolutely no emotion or concern even during the most "tense" scenes. At least the leading lady is somewhat competent, but not enough to make a career out of acting. The editing is beyond terrible, the sound mixing is all over the place, with some scenes being battered by the sound of the wind, making the dialogue near inaudible. Scenes cut to the next one without any rhyme of rhythm and the infamous "special effects" look like 2 second looped gifs of birds have been copy and pasted onto the screen! Whenever you hear the heroes of the film shooting their guns at the birds, cheap stock sound effects are used and the toy prop guns don't even look real or like they are actually firing anything. The entire soundtrack is cheap and sounds like it has been picked from a stock library. Despite being made in 2008, Hitchcock's The Birds, that was made in 1963, looks far more accomplished in every technical aspect.

The actual plot of the film is very, very lopsided. The first half is very slow and uninteresting. We see our forgettable leading man go to work and succeed in a big sales pitch, and go on a date with the leading lady, winning her charms despite his inability to express an emotion or say anything interesting or charming. I guess the script says they like each other, so the audience just has to go with it! The film is padded out with inane scenes of the leading man playing basketball with his friend, and the leading lady securing a modelling contract. The only chuckles to be had during the first half of the film are the first few times you see the terrible acting and the abrupt editing, but even this soon becomes a bore. There is a pretty comical scene where they go on a date at a bar, and a singer is badly lip syncing to a cheesy R&B song. The scene goes on for like 5 minutes and goes nowhere!

About half way through, the film makes an incredible shift in tone completely out of nowhere. All of sudden the screen is filled with poorly animated birds, whose shits are capable of blowing up buildings below. The characters humourously try to fend off the birds with coathangers. The film does start to become more entertaining, funny and silly during the last half, but it is such a slog making it upto this point. Even though Tommy Wiseau's immortal cult classic The Room is nearly as bad in quality, and is also full of go nowhere scenes, that film has a hypnotic atmosphere to it that makes it captivating for the entire length. Mainly because of Tommy Wiseau's enigmatic screen presence. Birdemic doesn't have that quality though, it is just BAD. And really boring. The laughs are very few and far between. One of the few saving graces of the film is that it comically crams in as many pro-environmental messages as it possible can, and not subtly. We see background posters and even characters wearing shirts advertising Yoko Ono's "Imagine Peace" website. The reason for the birds attacking is blamed on global warming, with a random scene where a "scientist" talks on and on about the dangers of global warming. At least the director has some sort of moral code, but if only he had found a better way to make his points!

I kind of feel bad that this film had a cinema release and even a Blu-Ray release, because it offers everything that is terrible and amateurish in film making, but fails to be remotely entertaining and interesting for most of its duration. It's not a so bad it's funny kind of film, it's just bad and painfully dull. If you watch a 3 minute clip of the film on YouTube, then that is enough, don't fool yourself into thinking the full film must be full of comedy gold like I did, because it isn't! I've seen non-film makers post up YouTube videos that had a better sense of editing and basic film making than this film has. I can honestly say I have made videos of better quality than Birdemic, and I do not consider myself a film maker! The whole film seems like a cruel joke, and the Blu-Ray release just extends that bad taste even further! Avoid this one and watch The Room or Troll 2 instead! 1/10.

#291: NIGHTMARE IN A DAMAGED BRAIN

1981

Directed by Romano Scavolini

Horror, Slasher, Video Nasty.

I first saw this film years ago when I was browsing the Horror section at HMV. The DVD had the most ridiculous artwork and description, with some of the most insane bloody and gory images on the back. I was sold! But unfortunately when I actually got through watching it, it turned out to be a cut version with almost every instance of blood and gore removed. In fact it was so bad that it actually interfered with the flow and plot of the film. In my state of confusion, I studied the DVD sleeve closer to find a tiny bit of writing, half obscured, that read "images may not appear in film". I got screwed.

So thank you to the gorehounds at 88Films for restoring Nightmares In a Damaged Brain in its full uncut glory on Blu-Ray. Fortunately the plot made a LITTLE bit more sense (I can't stress that enough) and yes, it turns out this film has the occasional brutal kill and over the top gory madness!

Even after seeing it restored, this film still brought back bad memories of when I first watched it (nightmares if you will). In true Italian style, it has a headache inducing narrative and the plot of this film is just dumb. Watching it feels like your brain is being bludgeoned with a hammer! But what's worse than, the majority of the film is actually very boring. It plods along at a slow pace, and has very few thrills, which is actually unlike even the stupidest Slasher films. The film looks incredibly ugly and it's vague nods towards Psycho and silly red herrings just annoy. A daft twist ending is the icing on the shit sundae. It's nice to see a film finally restored in it's ultimate form, but this one was probably better off being thrown under the bus!

On a bizarre side note, I was actually lucky to even get the 88Films Blu-Ray, as it ended up getting recalled from stores for mysterious reasons. Perhaps the universe didn't want it to be shown uncut after all! 3/10.

#290: SPLATTER UNIVERSITY

1984
Directed by Richard W Haines
Horror, Slasher.

I feel like I have now reached the point in time where I have seen so many low budget 80s Slasher flicks that I can't even tell them apart! I put the 88Films Blu-Ray disc in and 5 minutes in I was convinced I had already seen this film, yet I hadn't. Which goes to show how generic it is. Although it was released by the mighty Troma team, this one doesn't quite share the same blueprints as say Toxic Avenger. That is to say it isn't as wildly imaginative or as funny or crazy. It has your typical stock synthesiser score and 25 year olds playing 16 year olds who can't act or speak a word of dialogue to save their lives. I think the reason I found this so familiar is that Troma already released a very similar Slasher film called Graduation Day (also on the 88Films label).

Splatter University (though its set in a college) begins in a brutal fashion with two stabbings that lead to buckets of fake blood. In fact in the second kill the poor woman has her tit cut in half! But after an exhilarating start, the film swiftly goes downhill from there by being too lopsided. The killer isn't seen frequently enough, and inbetween his kills you have to tolerate badly written and acted teen drama, focusing too strongly on a teacher who cannot control her students, and a student who has fallen pregnant and doesn't know how to tell her boyfriend. It gets a bit too Saved By the Bell or Beverly Hills 90210 for a Horror film! I wish this one had more of Troma's crazy sense of humour and disgusting over the top effects. At 78 minutes, this film is tolerable, but not especially worth seeking out in the first place. 5/10.